Jun 3, 2013

School and a Mixed Bag of Emotions

"You can’t imagine your life with kids, until you have them, then you can’t imagine your life without them." ~Author Unknown

It's been a week since two of our three sons flew to Manila to attend their classes. Even with the (remaining) 9 year old son at home, doing his usual stuff alternately watching tv, tinkering with his Legos, cutting/ folding/ creating things with paper and playing with the iPad, and making a ruckus all by his lonesome, the house is, weirdly, quiet.

I often find myself introspecting... about the nest almost empty now and other similar thoughts. And I struggle to stop myself from wallowing in a mixed bag of emotions. It's not a bad thing, except, I could waste hours doing that.

I thought I was totally in control and could dismiss the situation as another milestone, like seeing your child lose his first baby tooth. Nothing a warm hug or an ice cream could not fix. On the contrary, that hug at this time just exacerbates the yearning. It just signals "This is it. We're going to college in a faraway place. See you in 2 months." Ugh.

Being a mother for the last 20 years, I thought I had it all figured out. Silly me. Where is that chapter in the parenting manual that teaches about the art of letting go? I have not perfected it yet.

There is the pang that doesn't go away. It gets dull sometimes but it's still there.

Meanwhile, I have to get my bearings straight and direct my attention to my youngest who, as most students attend their first day of classes today, will have school next week. So far, we've completed his materials from school, have bought his supplies and have made arrangements with the carpool operator. After we buy the new set of polos and pants this week for his uniform, we would practically be done.

This hyperactive and inquisitive youngest son of ours is on his third grade. He interrupts me with questions like: "Do you love me?" or when it takes me a few moments thinking of a better answer than "Yes, of course!", he would impatiently say: "So... do you love me?". Haha.

Yes he is now in grade 3. That's 9 years to university... While I'm still the supervisor and overseer of his affairs, maybe I should plan on something before college happens. Take up new or resume old hobbies. Work. Volunteer. Travel. Enjoy the new freedom. God-willing when that time comes when he waves at us, as we send him off to college, empty-nest wouldn't be too empty at all.


"The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence." ~ Denis Waitley


photo
Our recent family photo: eldest son in blue, second son in yellow, youngest one in green

32 comments:

  1. Have another baby? Just kidding hehe... but am sure you'll be able to accept these changes and be happy with it. Besides, take pride that you're getting there and accomplishing things with your family. :)

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    1. thanks! i like that line "accomplishing things with family" :)

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  2. Aww, the empty nest syndrome. It is good you still have your youngest with you...

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    1. i seriously think that is the main reason he was born to us "late" :)

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  3. ohh, wow. i can feel your mixed emotions just by reading through your post. beautifully written. on to your new chapter, blessings to you!

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    1. thank you so much tin! :) blessings to you too

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  4. This makes me realize that as our kids have stages of development, we parents undergo the same.

    Yes I agree with Tin, you are one good writer Ms. Linnor.

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    1. thank you kristine! true re changes... we just need to cope as best we could :)

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  5. The last photo is bursting with colors and happiness. :D Mommies today are luckier because there is Skype, unlicalls and piso fares. My parents did have that luxury while I was away for college. However, I treasure the letters we sent to one another.

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    1. oh yes i couldn't imagine life without skype, unlitext and unlicalls these days. these help a lot! :)

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  6. awwww.... it really isnt easy im sure... just the thought of it nga for me makes me cry na! and my son is only 4!!!! haha exagg i know but i really can't see myself letting him go.. i'm even thinking of home schooling nga eh just so i can keep him home 24hrs! LOL but trust in yourself that you raised 2 good boys (now men) :)

    -shery

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    1. thanks shery! i will keep that in mind "trust that we raised 2 good boys" :)

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  7. Agree that Responsibility and Independence go hand in hand. Learn the former to make latter an easy ride. :)Being a parent is a blessing and a big responsibility. Kudos to you dear! :) God bless!

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  8. oh, a new chapter in your life...get busy with your youngest, travel, hobbies or volunteer, right volunteer ka na lang, if you like help us, gabriela cebu...hahaha

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  9. This is so true! "You can’t imagine your life with kids, until you have them, then you can’t imagine your life without them." ~Author Unknown
    I have thought that what if I didn't have children? What would I be doing now?

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    1. yes cym, that quote is thought-provoking...

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  10. With today's technology, missing your two sons will be lessened I'm sure :) You can say "hi" to them everyday. I'm sure they appreciate all the good things you've done for them. Take care!

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    1. thanks farida! thanks to the internet, skype and texts, they can easily be reached. take care as well!

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  11. ah..makes me want to think why I want to have many grand children someday if God permits. Children must be given freedom for their learning & growth sake.

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    1. true... our role is to guide them. the decision is up to them

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  12. Aawww.. It's really hard to let go. The photo triggers the insides of me. We had our last photo (like yours) when i was in high school. Time flies so fast!

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    1. perhaps it's time for another shoot? :)

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  13. This stage is just a drill for the real thing letting go - when they marry.

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    1. true and i shudder at the thought. haha! i hope it happens at the right time.

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  14. We can never be ready when it comes to letting go of your children. Even if it's still years from now, Daddy and I talking about the future when we will be back with the life just like when we are just starting a family. It will be hard to let go, but that's the best thing to do for them to learn to fly just like what our parents did to us. But it's easy said than done I know so maybe Daddy and I should love each other even more kasi at the end of day, kami pa din 2 ang maiiwan. Hehe

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    1. i agree with you, we can never be ready to let go... That's why it's best to spend quality time with them as much as we can. It helps in strengthening the bond.

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  15. Nakakapanibago talaga kapag may isa or dalawa na umalis ng bahay. Medyo tahimik ang paligid. But it is for their own good naman.
    Cute ng photo.

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    1. thank you allan! idi-distract ko na lang siguro ang sarili ko para di ko masyadong ma-miss ang mga bugoy.

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  16. What a heartfelt post. I just realized this is how my mom should have felt when I left for the university 7 years ago. It's a good thing they still have my "baby" sister, who's an incoming 6th grader. :-)

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  17. aww... we are totally in the same situation... i

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