It's been a week since two of our three sons flew to Manila to attend their classes. Even with the (remaining) 9 year old son at home, doing his usual stuff alternately watching tv, tinkering with his Legos, cutting/ folding/ creating things with paper and playing with the iPad, and making a ruckus all by his lonesome, the house is, weirdly, quiet.
I often find myself introspecting... about the nest almost empty now and other similar thoughts. And I struggle to stop myself from wallowing in a mixed bag of emotions. It's not a bad thing, except, I could waste hours doing that.
I thought I was totally in control and could dismiss the situation as another milestone, like seeing your child lose his first baby tooth. Nothing a warm hug or an ice cream could not fix. On the contrary, that hug at this time just exacerbates the yearning. It just signals "This is it. We're going to college in a faraway place. See you in 2 months." Ugh.
Being a mother for the last 20 years, I thought I had it all figured out. Silly me. Where is that chapter in the parenting manual that teaches about the art of letting go? I have not perfected it yet.
There is the pang that doesn't go away. It gets dull sometimes but it's still there.
Meanwhile, I have to get my bearings straight and direct my attention to my youngest who, as most students attend their first day of classes today, will have school next week. So far, we've completed his materials from school, have bought his supplies and have made arrangements with the carpool operator. After we buy the new set of polos and pants this week for his uniform, we would practically be done.
This hyperactive and inquisitive youngest son of ours is on his third grade. He interrupts me with questions like: "Do you love me?" or when it takes me a few moments thinking of a better answer than "Yes, of course!", he would impatiently say: "So... do you love me?". Haha.
Yes he is now in grade 3. That's 9 years to university... While I'm still the supervisor and overseer of his affairs, maybe I should plan on something before college happens. Take up new or resume old hobbies. Work. Volunteer. Travel. Enjoy the new freedom. God-willing when that time comes when he waves at us, as we send him off to college, empty-nest wouldn't be too empty at all.
"The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence." ~ Denis Waitley
Our recent family photo: eldest son in blue, second son in yellow, youngest one in green